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Temat: The Quotes Thread (funny/ philosophical/ inspirational)

You see, the religious people -- most of them -- really think this planet is an experiment. That's what their beliefs come down to. Some god or other is always fixing and poking, messing around with tradesmen's wives, giving tablets on mountains, commanding you to mutilate your children, telling people what words they can say and what words they can't say, making people feel guilty about enjoying themselves, and like that. Why can't the gods leave well enough alone? All this intervention speaks of incompetence. If God didn't want Lot's wife to look back, why didn't he make her obedient, so she'd do what her husband told her? Or if he hadn't made Lot such a shithead, maybe she would've listened to him more. If God is omnipotent and omniscient, why didn't he start the universe out in the first place so it would come out the way he wants? Why's he constantly repairing and complaining? No, there's one thing the Bible makes clear: The biblical God is a sloppy manufacturer. He's not good at design, he's not good at execution. He'd be out of business if there was any competition.

- Sol Hadden
Jon M.

Jon M. Technical/Offshore
English,
petrochemicals

Temat: The Quotes Thread (funny/ philosophical/ inspirational)

"Liberty is a great celestial Goddess, strong, beneficent, and austere, and she can never descend upon a nation by the shouting of crowds, nor by arguments of unbridled passion, nor by the hatred of class against class."

"No philosophy, no religion, has ever brought so glad a message to the world as this good news of Atheism."

"Refusal to believe until proof is given is a rational position; denial of all outside of our own limited experience is absurd"

"Better remain silent, better not even think, if you are not prepared to act."

Annie Besant

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Temat: The Quotes Thread (funny/ philosophical/ inspirational)

A real man wants two things: danger and play. Therefore he wants woman as the most dangerous plaything.

- Nietzsche

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Temat: The Quotes Thread (funny/ philosophical/ inspirational)

Excerpt from Lehman Brothers' audit report:

"There are two sides to a Balance Sheet - the Left and the Right
(Liabilities & Assets, respectively).

On the Left side, there is nothing right, and on the Right side, there is nothing left."

Temat: The Quotes Thread (funny/ philosophical/ inspirational)

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
_______

Douglas Adams

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Temat: The Quotes Thread (funny/ philosophical/ inspirational)

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won`t let me plug it in.

Henny Youngman

Temat: The Quotes Thread (funny/ philosophical/ inspirational)

"All tragedies are finished by a death.

All comedies are ended by a marriage."

Lord Byron, Don Juan, Book III, Canto 9

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Temat: The Quotes Thread (funny/ philosophical/ inspirational)

The principle that human nature, in its psychological aspects, is nothing more than a product of history and given social relations removes all barriers to coercion and manipulation by the powerful.
Noam Chomsky
Rafał D.

Rafał D. Head of Production,
Locon Sp. z o.o.

Temat: The Quotes Thread (funny/ philosophical/ inspirational)

I am a citizen of the most beautiful nation on earth. A nation whose laws are harsh yet simple, a nation that never cheats, which is immense and without borders, where life is lived in the present. In this limitless nation, this nation of wind, light, and peace, there is no other ruler besides the sea.

Bernard Moitessier

Temat: The Quotes Thread (funny/ philosophical/ inspirational)

Maybe this world is another planet's hell.

Aldous Huxley

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Temat: The Quotes Thread (funny/ philosophical/ inspirational)

Learn to listen. Opportunity sometimes knocks very softly.

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Temat: The Quotes Thread (funny/ philosophical/ inspirational)

It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it.
Steven Wright
Ania S.

Ania S. Fotografia i
rękodzieło
artystyczne

Temat: The Quotes Thread (funny/ philosophical/ inspirational)

"…in all the woods and forests, God did not create a single leaf the same as any other… People go against nature because they lack the courage to be different."

Paulo Coehlo, Veronica decides to die.

Temat: The Quotes Thread (funny/ philosophical/ inspirational)

You laugh at me because I'm different, I laugh at you because you're all the same.

Jonathan Davis

Temat: The Quotes Thread (funny/ philosophical/ inspirational)

If you ever crawl inside an old hollow log and go to sleep, and while
you’re in there some guys come and seal up both ends and then put it on a truck and take it to another city, boy, I don’t know what to tell you.

Temat: The Quotes Thread (funny/ philosophical/ inspirational)

Here’s a good thing to do if you go to a party and you don’t know
anybody: First take out the garbage. Then go around and collect any
extra garbage that people might have, like a crumpled napkin, and
take that out too. Pretty soon people will want to meet the busy
garbage guy.
(Jack Handey)

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Temat: The Quotes Thread (funny/ philosophical/ inspirational)

Lidia K.:
Here’s a good thing to do if you go to a party and you don’t know
anybody: First take out the garbage. Then go around and collect any
extra garbage that people might have, like a crumpled napkin, and
take that out too. Pretty soon people will want to meet the busy
garbage guy.
(Jack Handey)
hahaha

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Temat: The Quotes Thread (funny/ philosophical/ inspirational)

Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!
Steven Wright :)

Temat: The Quotes Thread (funny/ philosophical/ inspirational)

"Some are born to sweet delight
Some are born to endless night"

William Blake
Keith Byrne

Keith Byrne Director, Select
Training Solutions

Temat: The Quotes Thread (funny/ philosophical/ inspirational)

Don't be afraid of making a mistake. You can only make dust by moving.

Keith Byrne

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The Halloween photo thread




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