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Steve Jones

Steve Jones Business English
Trainer, Translator,
Proofreader

Temat: Social balls-ups

Violetta P.:
And here in GL, whenever a lawyer writes to me, they use the "pani" form.

I wanted to write that nobody else but I realised it wasn`t true. Also some academics.

Very good point!

I noticed that on GL the general rules are disregarded apart from the "higher echelons" of the professional world... Most people launch straight into "ty" in a way that they would never ever do if it was face to face.

Why is that?

Can you start to appreciate how confused I am on a daily basis? ;))
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Lidia K.

Lidia K. +

Temat: Social balls-ups

The netiquette actually says that you should use the first name when communicating in forums, etc.

But the professional circles are sometimes immune to that, just as V. says.

BTW. the only discussion group in GL where you DO use Pan/Pani is Politics as probably they'd all agreed it'd be beter for them (don't know the origin of the fact but it's true)
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Temat: Social balls-ups

There is something worse in Polish than the pan/pani form.

Some people use the on/ona form when speaking directly to you. When I heard it for the first time, I had problems with communication, as I didn`t understand who they were talking about or who they were talking to. "ona przyjdzie, ona zobaczy..." Who? Ona!Violetta P. edytował(a) ten post dnia 08.09.08 o godzinie 23:34
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Temat: Social balls-ups

Steve, you should do some field work.

Just drop the demarcative "Pan", and someone will ask you for a 50% discount. Just like that. They'll feel free to cancel a business meeting without any notice.

If you're lucky, they'll just crack a series of vulgar jokes or start rambling about their homebrew political ideas.

Follow Baudelaire's advice: lots of acquaintances (yes, be there and participate!), but also lots of protective white gloves.Adam Lipiński edytował(a) ten post dnia 08.09.08 o godzinie 23:36
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Steve Jones

Steve Jones Business English
Trainer, Translator,
Proofreader

Temat: Social balls-ups

Lidia K.:
The netiquette actually says that you should use the first name when communicating in forums, etc.

But the professional circles are sometimes immune to that, just as V. says.

BTW. the only discussion group in GL where you DO use Pan/Pani is Politics as probably they'd all agreed it'd be beter for them (don't know the origin of the fact but it's true)

Do you think it would annoy them if I steamed in there and started addressing them using "ty" and their names?
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Lidia K.

Lidia K. +

Temat: Social balls-ups

No idea.
Some people are impressed like hell with your effort of speaking Polish (and being it quite good), so they might be ok with the TY form.
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Steve Jones

Steve Jones Business English
Trainer, Translator,
Proofreader

Temat: Social balls-ups

Lidia K.:
No idea.
Some people are impressed like hell with your effort of speaking Polish (and being it quite good), so they might be ok with the TY form.

Damn! That wouldn't be any fun ;))))Steve Jones edytował(a) ten post dnia 08.09.08 o godzinie 23:39
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Lidia K.

Lidia K. +

Temat: Social balls-ups

I wasn't going to write this, but why shouldn't I...

Going back to this mother who ignored your 'Czesc'
Probably it was a very good indication that she's not worth talking to anyway. And probably no form would be right for her.
Some people are like that and it's not YOU, it's THEM.

Just a feeling.
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Lidia K.

Lidia K. +

Temat: Social balls-ups

Adam Lipiński:
If you're lucky, they'll just crack a series of vulgar jokes or start rambling about their homebrew political ideas.
heheheheh! do you get that a lot?
how do you tranquilize them?
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Steve Jones

Steve Jones Business English
Trainer, Translator,
Proofreader

Temat: Social balls-ups

Lidia K.:
I wasn't going to write this, but why shouldn't I...

Going back to this mother who ignored your 'Czesc'
Probably it was a very good indication that she's not worth talking to anyway. And probably no form would be right for her.
Some people are like that and it's not YOU, it's THEM.

Just a feeling.

Yeah, I'm kind of with you here in the sense that perhaps as it was a native to foreigner exchange, it might have been kind to see the good intention (Hey, I'm a friendly guy I want to greet you) rather than the sociolinguistic error (friendly "cześć")

However, I think that if it was a Pole to Pole exchange, the conclusion wouldn't be so black and white.
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Lidia K.

Lidia K. +

Temat: Social balls-ups

ok, again:

some mothers are just perfectly ok with ignoring everyone else who isn't vital for their child
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Temat: Social balls-ups

What I don't get is people working together for years and calling each other "Pani Zosiu" and "Panie Januszku" :)
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Temat: Social balls-ups

Lidia K.:
ok, again:

some mothers are just perfectly ok with ignoring everyone else who isn't vital for their child
Haha, Lidia, that remark is so you! And I agree with it.
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Jon M.

Jon M. Technical/Offshore
English,
petrochemicals

Temat: Social balls-ups

Tatiana S.:
What I don't get is people working together for years and calling each other "Pani Zosiu" and "Panie Januszku" :)

It used to be the same in the UK. Now only surgeons/dentists/lawyers/vets/clergy etc do that. And teachers expect it from their pupils. Seems so much less hassle to use first names.

As for the lady at the kindergarten, you just can't get a respone sometimes - there are some strange people in this world. Better to chalk it up to experience and not worry.
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Steve Jones

Steve Jones Business English
Trainer, Translator,
Proofreader

Temat: Social balls-ups

Lidia K.:
ok, again:

some mothers are just perfectly ok with ignoring everyone else who isn't vital for their child

Well, if that's the case, then fuck her (figuratively)
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Temat: Social balls-ups

Lidia K.:

how do you tranquilize them?

I just frown and feel awkward. Somehow I try to show my disgust. It's like offering someone a glass of wine -- just to see them spend the night in your living room playing the guitar around the bonfire (Bieszczady songs and stuff).

Interestingly enough, even when people talk with me in English, they still remember that we are not on 'per Ty' terms. After days or months, when we know the boundaries, it's OK to switch to "Ty". Sometimes the "Ty" form sounds dishonest, especially if it's just corporate culture and I don't give a damn about that particular person.

A straightforward "Ty" is acceptable when I meet other motoring enthusiasts, when we hold a "spot" to compare our cars and try a drag race or two. It's also fine in some clubs - especially where there are many foreigners and everybody's having fun.

My attractive female neighbour, whom I hardly know, has recently switched to "Ty" when passing me in the corridor. Unfortunately, I haven't seen any living room fireworks yet!
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Steve Jones

Steve Jones Business English
Trainer, Translator,
Proofreader

Temat: Social balls-ups

Do you think it's acceptable to do what I sometimes do and just tell people (I'm just being honest): I don't like being called Pan, can we use the Ty form?

I usually find people agree to my terms... I'm now wondering if deep down they hold some massive psycholinguistic resentment towards me and are throwing darts at my photograph
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Temat: Social balls-ups

Steve, you're too intelligent and respectable to cause any offense. It should work with anybody under 50 ;)

However, I would sincerely advise you to exercise extra caution, just in case your interlocutor happens to be gay.
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Temat: Social balls-ups

I do that too. And I don't care what people think.
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Temat: Social balls-ups

I felt a bit awkward while visiting and people would say Pan to me. I felt old and decrepit. I kept telling everyone not to call me Pan and after 3 days these girls at the corner store finally said "Czesc" to me instead of "Dziendobry Panu". It was a relief.
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