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Temat: Polish hospitality

Lidia K.:
For a start I'll just outline what drives me nuts when visiting family or older people.

They force you to eat.

Or drink (e.g. vodka).

This is when I start being rude. I cannot stand being forced to eat or drink. I had an awful argument with my future father-in-law about his generous offering me alcohol (I wasn't drinking any alcohol then and he knew that very well). The offer was that in fact I had no choice.
He was offended for a long time afterwards. I rejected his hospitality.

That's more or less my experience as well. (In Poland).
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Temat: Polish hospitality

During my first visit to Sweden, my experiences were very similar to Karolina's. Perfect strangers invited us over to STAY at their house overnight when we were stranded in a podunk little village with no transport until the morning.

Swedes are great when it comes to making a spectacular first impression. But once you decide to stay, settle in, get your personnumer and all that, the gloves come off. You're one of them, no longer a guest, and you're treated accordingly. Because I spoke the language, I made friends relatively quickly, and after 5 years here, I've also become an expert at showing fake hospitality to newcomers. Sad but true.

I've never experienced such "fakeness" in Poland. But then again, I was rather young when I left, so maybe I just didn't notice.
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Temat: Polish hospitality

Anna E.:
and after 5 years here, I've also become an expert at showing fake hospitality to newcomers.

What is 'fake' hospitality?

How do you distinguish this from 'genuine' hospitality?warren W. edytował(a) ten post dnia 26.06.08 o godzinie 12:11
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Temat: Polish hospitality

Of course I also try to avoid generalisation.
I have two examples of totally different attitiudes.
First is my parents' home. You can't say that they aren't hospitable, but they don't like uninvited guests, they lock the door, and don't answer phones after 8pm(even from me).
On the other hand there is my aunt, my father's sister. And she runs a house in completly different way. You are welcome 24/7, door are open for almost everybody, you can drop by for a coffee and if you're lucky you can stay for a dinner. I've spent some time there, and I swear: the house was always full of people. It was tiresome experience.
So as You can see two different approaches, in the same country, brother and sister.
Personally, I make it a rule ' My home is my castle' and I'll stick to it.
I think that I'm not a hospitable person...
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Lidia K.

Lidia K. +

Temat: Polish hospitality

Any of you foreigners been to a (traditional) Polish wedding?
Or have gone through it yourselves?

(Probably it deserves a separate thread but for the time being I'm just adding the idea here.)
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Temat: Polish hospitality

Warren,
to me "fake" would be when you do something because you feel forced to do it (by peer pressure or social expectations, or whatever). So you invite people over, because "we need to look good for outsiders" when you'd much rather be watching TV alone.

In the US, we would throw a 4th of July block party and invite the whole neighborhood, because we wanted to, not because "oh shit, we must appear hospitable." To me, that's genuine hospitality.

When I was in Poland in 2006, I could pretty much tell who wanted me there, because they wanted me there, and who was just going through the motions. And then, there were those who were not hospitable at all and didn't hide it.

No nation will admit to NOT being hospitable, but it's hard to figure out which ones are putting on a show, and which ones are truly genuinely hospitable people.Anna E. edytował(a) ten post dnia 26.06.08 o godzinie 12:29
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Temat: Polish hospitality

Lidia K.:
Any of you foreigners been to a (traditional) Polish wedding?
Or have gone through it yourselves?

(Probably it deserves a separate thread but for the time being I'm just adding the idea here.)

TM

Loads.

And funerals.

I married my wife in a registry office in the U.K., however.
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Temat: Polish hospitality

Anna E.:
Warren,
to me "fake" would be when you do something because you feel forced to do it (by peer pressure or social expectations, or whatever). So you invite people over, because "we need to look good for outsiders" when you'd much rather be watching TV alone.

In the US, we would throw a 4th of July block party and invite the whole neighborhood, because we wanted to, not because "oh shit, we must appear hospitable." To me, that's genuine hospitality.

When I was in Poland in 2006, I could pretty much tell who wanted me there, because they wanted me there, and who was just going through the motions. And then, there were those who were not hospitable at all and didn't hide it.

No nation will admit to NOT being hospitable, but it's hard to figure out which ones are putting on a show, and which ones are truly genuinely hospitable people.

I have never 'got' this Polish thing about being genuine.

Fairly obviously, all hospitality to foreigners, or people you don't know very well indeed, is 'fake'.

You can't really genuinely like people you don't really know.
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Temat: Polish hospitality

Lidia K.:

Poland is known from its hospitality. Do you agree?

No.

It's just how Poles like to see themselves.

I've yet to hear this opinion from a foreigner.

Can you see it changing over the last years?

As a foreigner you can be a bit of a celebrity.

As Poland has joined the E.U., and many Poles work abroad, the novelty factor is less than it was previously.

How do you show/are shown hospitality nowadays?

My wife's extended family are extremely hospitable.

Unfortunately I don't have a great deal in common with them.

This is very sad.

How do you entertain your guests?*

My wife does.

How different is it in other countries?

The most hospitable place I've ever been to is Greece.

They take a pride in not allowing guests to pay for anything.

I would like to emphasise that I was not living in a tourist area nor on holiday.

Sometimes you could even go to a cafe and not be charged.
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Oleg Holuczenko

Oleg Holuczenko :)

Temat: Polish hospitality

I like polish feeling of hospitality... it is kind of caring that you will feel alright ;)
Russian hospitality is the same :)
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Temat: Polish hospitality

Warren,
what I meant is not that Poles are "more" genuine, but that there's less BS to their hospitality. Since you're not a Pole that aspect is obviously lost on you.

And I agree about Greece. I've experienced the same in the Middle East, Latin America and parts of Asia. Polish hospitality has a long way to go to catch up with those regions/nations/peoples.
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Temat: Polish hospitality

Yes I think that 'Polish hospitality' is something I have only ever heard of in Poland. I bet that people in every country see themselves as being hospitable.
The soup was made of duck's blood.
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Temat: Polish hospitality

Anna E.:
Warren,
what I meant is not that Poles are "more" genuine, but that there's less BS to their hospitality. Since you're not a Pole that aspect is obviously lost on you.

That particular argument is lost on me because it's a very poor one.
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Temat: Polish hospitality

I think hospitality is not something that is related strictly to any given culture; I believe it to be a more of a personal thing. In the States there is the myth of “southern hospitality” were supposedly when traveling south or mid land people are nicer and more opened to strangers. I’ve gone that way and have discovered it to be a hugely exaggerated myth. People will probably smile and small talk with you more simply because they have more time, they are more laid back and not in a hurry to accommodate or interact with a thousand other people as it would be the case in large cities or more densely populated areas. I found New Yorkers to be extremely friendly and outwardly towards random strangers, in fact, I have been invited for dinners, lunches and other activities by plenty of people after just few beers or a chat at a park. Personally I find myself to be a pretty open and inviting person, I wouldn’t invite just anybody to my household but I have had many people stay over night or sometimes for days even, just because we were “hanging out”. Once our kids were born, things changed a bit, but from time to time we do have some of our friends crash on our couch, we cook for them or they cook for us, whatever’s clever at the moment. I myself have stayed at friend’s places many o’ times for various reasons or for no reason at all… just to hang out… it’s something of a natural thing amongst my generation here. I personally prefer if people call me before coming over and I call people too before making my way out, but if you don’t it won’t really matter that much. When in my house “me casa es tu casa” I wouldn’t invite you over otherwise. I can’t see myself having people over at my place that I don’t like… if I don’t know you, if you came over with another friend, I will definitely give you the benefit of the doubt, if it doesn’t work out, well you most likely won’t cross through my door again.
What I think it all comes down to is – treat others as you would like to be treated yourself. Why be fake and pretend to enjoy someone’s company? I don’t see the point in doing that; it’s not only a waste of time but also energy. Spending time at your own place with people who make you uncomfortable, agitated, annoyed or simply angry is useless and I try to avoid putting myself in that situation at all cost. I’d rather do something that .. I enjoy, with someone whose company I’d enjoy.
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Temat: Polish hospitality

Rafał, the southern hospitality is no myth when it comes to smaller communities - but you could say that about any other small community in the States I guess. I haven't figured out exactly if it isn't just curiosity...
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Temat: Polish hospitality

I’ve lived for 5 years in a small town, typical middle class American suburbs where everyone knew each other and all the parents went to school with each other and their parents did too, all cops were locals; you could walk from one end of town to the other in under 30min… I’d have to admit that curiosity is probably a good way to describe it… but there was also a sense of alienation. I was the “outsider” and not only in a manner of being an immigrant. My high school consisted of about 700 kids my graduating class was about 120 strong, let me just tell you how fast I started my trips to the city to avoid “curiosity” hehe… it’s nice to have everyone smile and nod when they pass you by, but when you finally start settling in and getting the gist of things, you notice small differences of behavior that apply to you.. and others. I never felt that in the metro area where you weren’t so suspect right away and interaction usually led to friendships and people mentioning you by your name and not by “that Polish kid”. I guess you can compare that to the way foreigners are treated in Poland.
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Steve Jones

Steve Jones Business English
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Temat: Polish hospitality

a few things I find confusing about Polish hospitlity:

First of all, why is it synonymous with stuffing your guest full to the point of bursting? What's hospitable about that?

Surely hospitality means welcoming strangers

When I arrived here, I didn't feel welcome at all. No one (polish) at work invited me out for a drink.
Didn't get much of a welcoming from the shopkeepers either. Just a scowl and a slucham with a nie ma.

However, as time went by I grew to like people here and the more they got to know me, the friendlier they became.

This idea of hospitality where strangers are embraced with open arms and ushered into your home.... Well, that's just bollocks, isnt it?
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Temat: Polish hospitality

This idea of hospitality where strangers are embraced with open arms and ushered into your home.... Well, that's just bollocks, isnt it?

It is.
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Temat: Polish hospitality

Anna E.:
During my first visit to Sweden, my experiences were very similar to Karolina's. Perfect strangers invited us over to STAY at their house overnight when we were stranded in a podunk little village with no transport until the morning.

Swedes are great when it comes to making a spectacular first impression. But once you decide to stay, settle in, get your personnumer and all that, the gloves come off. You're one of them, no longer a guest, and you're treated accordingly. Because I spoke the language, I made friends relatively quickly, and after 5 years here, I've also become an expert at showing fake hospitality to newcomers. Sad but true.

I experienced the same wonderful hospitality in Sweden and that was one of the reasons why I admired my stay so much. At the same time, I worked with immigrants (educated, Swedish-speaking), and often heard from them 'Try to move in, you'll see what it's really like'. So there must be something in it. Something like 'My home is my castle - I'm open, I'm tolerant, I truly love visitors, but hey, that's my home, it's been a month you're here, so when are you going to come back to yours and leave my sofa to myself at last?'
In fact, I think I somehow understand THEM, though personally I have a different vision of hospitality (regarding Poland the country - as probably most of us, when it comes to my HOME, my hospitality is just like in the Swedish example).
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