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Temat: Manners and More

Lidia K.:
your Polish grzeczny chlopiec manners

I will not comment on this piece...
to the New York survival DJ and corporate life in > any way?
Which ones?

Greatest thing about NYC is that no matter who you are, you will find your own niche. You absolutely don’t have to adjust, ok, I’ll take that back, the only time that you do have to adjust is if you are a self centered prejudice prick, but other than that, it’s a cultural free for all with plenty of room for even the biggest of “individuals”.

As per corporate, it’s only a job, I’d hate to find myself in a situation where I would have to adjust my personality to appease my superiors, so I tend to use things such as interviews to my own advantage rather than those who are asking questions.
I am really not that much of an ass Lidia haha… I just prefer to speak my mind and debate, over staying quite and coming to my own possibly wrong conclusions with out finding out fundamental reasons for someone’s own opinions.Rafal Wolk edytował(a) ten post dnia 14.05.08 o godzinie 16:11
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Lidia K.

Lidia K. +

Temat: Manners and More

I need to go to NYC. Badly.

So my last killer question.
Since we agree you're not a grzeczny chlopiec anymore but still not an ass, is it possible to be tactful and speak your mind? And more - can honesty and manners go together?

The worst hypocrites are usually nice.

[Edit] What interviews? Are you a celebrity or recruitment agent?Lidia K. edytował(a) ten post dnia 14.05.08 o godzinie 16:23
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Temat: Manners and More

Lidia K.:
I need to go to NYC. Badly.

When you do, let us know we'd be more than happy to give you the NYC experience.

is it possible to be tactful and speak your mind? > And more - can honesty and manners go together?

I think it is possible, unless you are talking to someone who will get offended by your opinions. For example, if I was to say that in my opinion organized religion is possibly the worst evil that has plagued this planet for millennia, some people would most likely get very upset and offended, yet I am only stating my opinion. If asked for details relating to reasons for such an opinion I would bring up things like crusades, the Spanish inquisition, Vatican’s stands on things such as gay marriage, or even bring out things that irk me about other religions which divide rather than keep people together, even more people would get nervous ticks and most likely stop the conversation right in it’s tracks.

I have learned that honesty is in fact the best policy no matter how brutal the truth can be… I’d rather have someone be straight and to the point with me and tell me what exactly is on their mind than try to figure out what exactly is going on in their heads after receiving an answer that is neither here nor there.

The worst hypocrites are usually nice.

True.

[Edit] What interviews? Are you a celebrity or recruitment agent?

hahaha... no no no .. not that kind of an interview. Work related interview - face to face with your future employer prior to either hiring you or giving you the "don't call us we'll call you".

Lidia K. edytował(a) ten post dnia 14.05.08 o
godzinie 16:23
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Ilter K.

Ilter K. Business Developer,
Music Producer, AVID
Certified Instru...

Temat: Manners and More

Lidia K.:
ilter Kalkanci:
Where should you learn them?
In your family. Or from you mother/father/care-taker/brother/sister/etc.
Should you apply them in every situation?
This is not like "in case of an emergency landing on water". You behave the way you like and they way you've learnt... and we're human, sometimes we make mistakes and surprise even ourselves.
Isn't it a little bit of a compromise with the System?
Which system? Our nervous system?
The System where everything is organized and you are expected to conform.
First of all, I don't see "good manners" as tools to conform with any type of system. Otherwise it wouldn't be sincere.
If I have any good manners, it is my preference to have them, not to look better to other people.
Besides, I don't like to be in and "conform" in an organized system - like a global company or like in a "board of directors".
That's why I chose to be a musician - maybe.
Do you take pride in your manners then?
Not really. It is nothing to be proud of. It is just how we are educated or built.
And what if you had no parents/brothers/uncles and were just self-taught?
You mean, like Tarzan?
I think that the impact of the home environment is exaggerated sometimes. Often it has to do with sensitivity and imagination.
... and sensitivity and imagination comes from...?
Don't tell me it is from genes... :)
I know, these are not from genes.
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Lidia K.

Lidia K. +

Temat: Manners and More

If you have brothers and sisters their sensitivity and imagination is different, isn't it? They may receive the same education and example at home and each of them may use it differently in life.
Potentially their manners might be the same, the question would be how they live.
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Ilter K.

Ilter K. Business Developer,
Music Producer, AVID
Certified Instru...

Temat: Manners and More

Lidia K.:
If you have brothers and sisters their sensitivity and imagination is different, isn't it?
Not very.
Although I have an elder brother (4 years older) and studied in different classes, had different teachers and friends and time period, we expose similar "sensitivity" or behaviors in the matter of good manners.
And imagine, this guy left to study away from home after he finished high school.

If you're talking about minor differences, you're right, we're different.
But you can expect similar "good manners" as the ones I expose.

In educational psychology and sociology, there are 3 important "legs".
And 1st one -which is the main/important one- is the family - or sort.
Potentially their manners might be the same, the question would be how they live.
So you say, you shoot a new question now?
I thought we're talking about good (or bad) manners.ilter K. edytował(a) ten post dnia 14.05.08 o godzinie 17:24
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Lidia K.

Lidia K. +

Temat: Manners and More

easy, easy
by how they live I meant how they apply the manners they were taught at home

I think it's experience that shapes us, not just family or home
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Ilter K.

Ilter K. Business Developer,
Music Producer, AVID
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Temat: Manners and More

But I've already told you what I think.

Most of the good manners we learn, comes from the core environment. Which is the family.

And I wouldn't consider good manners in the subject of life experience. Because the life experience includes many other things.
Like where we live, where we have lived, whith whom we have lived and have been living... and so on.
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Ilter K.

Ilter K. Business Developer,
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Temat: Manners and More

...and again, I'm not talking about dining table manners.
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Temat: Manners and More

Lidia K.:

I think it's experience that shapes us, not just
family or home

Most definitely, it is outside of our home that we learn how to interact with others. Our parents usually lay the foundation for whatever cultural structure we will eventually erect, but it is the outside stimuli that steers us in the direction which we decide to eventually take. Which is also what helps to create the feeling of collective conscious or what we refer to as regional cultureRafal Wolk edytował(a) ten post dnia 14.05.08 o godzinie 17:33
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Ilter K.

Ilter K. Business Developer,
Music Producer, AVID
Certified Instru...

Temat: Manners and More

Oh ok...
I think you guys are talking about behavioral stuff.
I'll stay out of it as long as "good manners" are not properly defined.
I don't want to think and write without knowing what the others are talking about. I know how it'd look :)
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Temat: Manners and More

ilter K.:
Oh ok...
I think you guys are talking about behavioral stuff.
I'll stay out of it as long as "good manners" are not properly defined.
I don't want to think and write without knowing what the others are talking about. I know how it'd look :)

Not at all Ilter, I think all of what you have mentioned coupled with behavioral patterns add up to who we are and what we perceive as manners.
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Temat: Manners and More

sorry to butt in...

I've always been an honest person and telling the truth has been the motto of my life, yet there was a time, when I was a teenager and in my twenties, that I was suffering from 'foot and mouth disease', so to say;p - I would often just put my foot in my mouth... :-O Telling the truth about what I thought, however, was not an excuse for choosing a completely wrong time and way to express my opinion....

IMHO, we can be honest, open and express ourselves without hurting or offending other people's feelings... :)

Having good manners doesn't just mean knowing what cutlery to use when eating a particular dish, or how to lay the table... It also means being sensitive to what we can say in what way, in order to communicate our opinions so that others are open to listen and feel respected by us, even though we may differ in our outlook on life....

I'd say the more someone is open-minded themselves and ready to listen to views different than their own, the easier they find to be tactful and respectful of others:)) (to reverse what I've said - the more egocentric someone is, the less tactful they will be, the more they will give no heck about good manners...)Grazyna N. edytował(a) ten post dnia 14.05.08 o godzinie 17:54
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Ilter K.

Ilter K. Business Developer,
Music Producer, AVID
Certified Instru...

Temat: Manners and More

Not at all Ilter, I think all of what you have mentioned coupled with behavioral patterns add up to who we are and what we perceive as manners.


I don't change or modify my "good manners" after moving to Jamaica and live with the hippies for 20 years.
This is what I'm talking about.

I can go as far as stating; these construction elements are initiated in phallic period and matured until we reached the age of 18 (ok, maybe 21 :).

But how I speak, listen and have sex, changes with life experience. That's something else.

So thanks, I better stay out. hehe :)ilter K. edytował(a) ten post dnia 14.05.08 o godzinie 17:57
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