Temat: Five 4 Friday 20.06.2008

Be creative.

1 Would you 'sell' your Significant Other for any amount of money (£, €, $, PLN, …) for one night, if it could solve all your financial problems forever? If yes – how much money would that have to be? If no – why? If you’re single… pretend you're not.

2 Do you get offended by race jokes? Do you tell race jokes? I don’t mean horse race, mind you.

3 You run your own business. Someone else starts a competitive business just down the street, offering better merchendise, prices, etc. How do you react? Do you fight back? How 'dirty' will you play?

4 Let’s assume that time machine exists, works and is safe to use. You are offered a chance to travel in time. Would you rather go to the past or to the future? And of course: Why?

5 What did Materazzi say to Zidane in the match for gold during the 2006 football (soccer – that’s for you Joj and Andre) world championships, between France and Italy, to deserve the infamous headbutt from the French player?

Temat: Five 4 Friday 20.06.2008

1 Would you 'sell' your Significant Other for any amount of money (£, €, $, PLN, …) for one night, if it could solve all your financial problems forever? If yes – how much money would that have to be? If no – why? If you’re single… pretend you're not.

Well, it would probably have to take a lot of convincing, it would also depend on the other person in question. What I am trying to say is yes, but I have to lube it up first before I catch my beating hehehe... how much? It would have to be enough to make me and her forget. In Euros... I think in this day and age 5 million would buy us a comfy retirement.

2 Do you get offended by race jokes? Do you tell race jokes? I don’t mean horse race, mind you.

I don't get offended; it really depends on who is telling the joke. It's all about intended purpose when it comes to comedy. I do tell racial jokes; I do joke at minorities and find myself on the receiving end of those as well, not a big deal really.

3 You run your own business. Someone else starts a competitive business just down the street, offering better merchendise, prices, etc. How do you react? Do you fight back? How 'dirty' will you play?

From my experience, I found it that sometimes it's not necessarily the merchandise that is important, but the way it's presented, packaged and sold. It's the service that counts, so in order to beat your opponent you must provide prime service, go the extra mile and I will guarantee you that your customer base will not only stay same but it will steadily grow. There is no better PR than word of mouth.
The sooner a business owner realizes this simple rule, the faster his or hers business will flourish.

4 Let’s assume that time machine exists, works and > is safe to use. You are offered a chance to travel in time. > Would you rather go to the past or to the future? And of course:
Why?

>

Now, here is a tricky part, can we stay there? Or just have a quick look and be out?

5 What did Materazzi say to Zidane in the match for gold during the 2006 football (soccer – that’s for you Joj and Andre) world championships, between France and Italy, to deserve the infamous headbutt from the French player?

erh.. yo momma is so ugly yer daddy takes her to work each day so he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye...

Temat: Five 4 Friday 20.06.2008

Is it friday yet?

Temat: Five 4 Friday 20.06.2008

In Australia, yes.

Temat: Five 4 Friday 20.06.2008

Oh I see...

Temat: Five 4 Friday 20.06.2008

Jarek A.:
Be creative.

1 Would you 'sell' your Significant Other for any amount of money (£, €, $, PLN, …) for one night, if it could solve all your financial problems forever? If yes – how much money would that have to be? If no – why? If you’re single… pretend you're not.

I don't think I would as am obsessed with having to share the Significant Other with someone else. Besides, I don't have financial problems. If I had them, I'd rather find a way of solving them other than pimping.
Sounds a lot like Indecent Proposal, eh?

2 Do you get offended by race jokes? Do you tell race jokes? I don’t mean horse race, mind you.

I don't and I do. Polish jokes, Jewish jokes, yo momma jokes... They're just jokes, why feel offended?

3 You run your own business. Someone else starts a competitive business just down the street, offering better merchendise, prices, etc. How do you react? Do you fight back? How 'dirty' will you play?

Scratch their eyes out.
Seriously, I think I might just go visit the owner and talk about possible cooperation. All in all, am very amiable.

4 Let’s assume that time machine exists, works and is safe to use. You are offered a chance to travel in time. Would you rather go to the past or to the future? And of course: Why?

I'd travel to the future - the past is behind us and there's no reason why we should go back. Unless, umm, I'd be able to hook up with Bruce Willis when he was 15 years younger. Oh, yeah!

5 What did Materazzi say to Zidane in the match for gold during the 2006 football (soccer – that’s for you Joj and Andre) world championships, between France and Italy, to deserve the infamous headbutt from the French player?

That's the hardest of all 5f5 questions. I have to sleep on it.

Temat: Five 4 Friday 20.06.2008

Tatiana S.:

yo momma jokes...

what are they? never heard this expression
(will I regret it?)

Temat: Five 4 Friday 20.06.2008

1. Nobody would want him anyway.
2. Don't get offended and tell them. But within reason. (fuck, got me confused here)
3. Competition is good for business, I don't mind. It forces me to do my shit the right way.
4. The past, like totally. I'd like to see Jimi Hendrix play live.
5. "You wipe your ass with your right hand."Anna E. edytował(a) ten post dnia 19.06.08 o godzinie 18:58

Temat: Five 4 Friday 20.06.2008

Lidia K.:

Tatiana S.:
yo momma jokes...

what are they? never heard this expression

Read Raf's answer to Q#5.

(will I regret it?)

No, long as you're not a 'momma'...

Temat: Five 4 Friday 20.06.2008

Lidia K.:

Tatiana S.:
yo momma jokes...

what are they? never heard this expression
(will I regret it?)

Very much part of the hip hop culture, kids out doing themselves simply by making jokes related to each other's mothers. Some of them are really funny.

Temat: Five 4 Friday 20.06.2008

Jarek and Rafał, thank you, I've come across this category but didn't know the name for it apparently. I didn't know it was from hip hop.

A Polish GL thread on these jokes:
http://www.goldenline.pl/forum/humor-dowcip/208734

Temat: Five 4 Friday 20.06.2008

1 Would you 'sell' your Significant Other for any amount of money (£, €, $, PLN, …) for one night, if it could solve all your financial problems forever? If yes – how much money would that have to be? If no – why? If you’re single… pretend you're not.

My financial problems would have to be really huge for me to think about it. I guess I would not agree. Sharing my partner is not really my way of life. Not for any amout of money.

2 Do you get offended by race jokes? Do you tell race jokes? I don’t mean horse race, mind you.

I tell them, sometimes. They are only jokes after all. Why be offended?

3 You run your own business. Someone else starts a competitive business just down the street, offering better merchendise, prices, etc. How do you react? Do you fight back? How 'dirty' will you play?

Of course I fight back. Maybe I don't play very dirty, but I'm doing a lot to improve my own business (if they can do better, why can't I?). Maybe I would hire someone to spy on them and discover their secret ;)

4 Let’s assume that time machine exists, works and is safe to use. You are offered a chance to travel in time. Would you rather go to the past or to the future? And of course: Why?

Heh, that's a hard choice... But my first choice would be past. To try and convince my past self to do some things different. Or act as me and change things I did wrong.
And future would be only out of curiosity, so it's not a good reason ;)

5 What did Materazzi say to Zidane in the match for gold during the 2006 football (soccer – that’s for you Joj and Andre) world championships, between France and Italy, to deserve the infamous headbutt from the French player?

Following Tatiana's example, I have to think about it a little :)

Temat: Five 4 Friday 20.06.2008

1 Would you 'sell' your Significant Other for any amount of money
(£, €, $, PLN, …) for one night, if it could solve all your financial problems forever? If yes – how much money would that
have to be? If no – why? If you’re single… pretend you're not.

I probably wouldn't. Sharing a partner, as far as I remember, is not the best experience of my life. But probably would depend on the partner and on the amount.

2 Do you get offended by race jokes? Do you tell race jokes? I
don’t mean horse race, mind you.

I don't and I do. I don't tell jokes as in stories, but I joke on
race, sexuality, religion (whoa, a lot!), whatever. What I hate is
tasteless jokes. Althou most of the tasteless jokes are racist.

3 You run your own business. Someone else starts a competitive
business just down the street, offering better merchendise, prices, etc. How do you react? Do you fight back? How 'dirty' will
you play?

That's business. I don't play dirty in business. Compete on quality and marketing, not on dick weaving, as someone said.

4 Let’s assume that time machine exists, works and is safe to
use. You are offered a chance to travel in time. Would you rather
go to the past or to the future? And of course: Why?

Past. Going to the future would probably mean ending up in pretty sad place. With smoke and cockroaches.
Or: Past, to last Thursday, so I can pay my phone bill on time.

5 What did Materazzi say to Zidane?

"So... you're French, eh?"Kuba N. edytował(a) ten post dnia 19.06.08 o godzinie 23:11

Temat: Five 4 Friday 20.06.2008

Jarek A.:
Be creative.

1 Would you 'sell' your Significant Other for any amount of money (£, €, $, PLN, …) for one night, if it could solve all your financial problems forever? If yes – how much money would that have to be? If no – why? If you’re single… pretend you're not.

No. It would be like admitting that money is more important than dignity.

2 Do you get offended by race jokes? Do you tell race jokes? I don’t mean horse race, mind you.

Depends whether they're told tastefully and with affection or not..

3 You run your own business. Someone else starts a competitive business just down the street, offering better merchendise, prices, etc. How do you react? Do you fight back? How 'dirty' will you play?

I focus on what I can do personally to make my company the best and to present my company in the best possibly way.. If that failed, I'd burn them down.

4 Let’s assume that time machine exists, works and is safe to use. You are offered a chance to travel in time. Would you rather go to the past or to the future? And of course: Why?

I'd go back because the future wouldn't make any sense to me.

5 What did Materazzi say to Zidane in the match for gold during the 2006 football (soccer – that’s for you Joj and Andre) world championships, between France and Italy, to deserve the infamous headbutt from the French player?

He said "Fuck you and all who sail in you!"

Temat: Five 4 Friday 20.06.2008

Steve Jones:

5 What did Materazzi say to Zidane in the match for gold during the 2006 football (soccer – that’s for you Joj and Andre) world championships, between France and Italy, to deserve the infamous headbutt from the French player?

He said "Fuck you and all who sail in you!"

Aww...! ;)Sylwia Łubkowska edytował(a) ten post dnia 19.06.08 o godzinie 23:52

Temat: Five 4 Friday 20.06.2008

Steve Jones:

No. It would be like admitting that money is more important than dignity.

But in certain situations/circumstances isn't that the case?

Temat: Five 4 Friday 20.06.2008

Anna E.:

Steve Jones:

No. It would be like admitting that money is more important than dignity.

But in certain situations/circumstances isn't that the case?

In which situations or circumstances would that be the case?

Temat: Five 4 Friday 20.06.2008

1 Would you 'sell' your Significant Other for any amount of money (£, €, $, PLN, …) for one night, if it could solve all your financial problems forever? If yes – how much money would that have to be? If no – why? If you’re single… pretend you're not.

Offers please. It would have to be at least the price of a modest flat. Of course I'd take less if I was happy that he was going to a good home.

2 Do you get offended by race jokes? Do you tell race jokes? I don’t mean horse race, mind you.

Depends on the joke. Some are nasty, a few are very funny - at least for a moment.

3 You run your own business. Someone else starts a competitive business just down the street, offering better merchendise, prices, etc. How do you react? Do you fight back? How 'dirty' will you play?

This has happened. Honest competition is best, superglue in the locks plus a little something with petrol a close second, followed by offering their teachers higher wages and undercutting their clients.

4 Let’s assume that time machine exists, works and is safe to use. You are offered a chance to travel in time. Would you rather go to the past or to the future? And of course: Why?

Some sports betting option is tempting, though clichęd. People who say they can do this (and some indeed say they can - check out 'Damanhur') say that only the past is possible, the future hasn't happened yet therefore doesn't exist. So maybe a trip to Roman London, If it was possible, I wouldn't mind going a couple of hundred years ahead, just to make sure that everything's still alright.

5 What did Materazzi say to Zidane in the match for gold during the 2006 football (soccer – that’s for you Joj and Andre) world championships, between France and Italy, to deserve the infamous headbutt from the French player?

Stumped.Jon M. edytował(a) ten post dnia 20.06.08 o godzinie 08:54

Temat: Five 4 Friday 20.06.2008

1 Would you 'sell' your Significant Other for any amount of money (£, €, $, PLN, …) for one night, if it could solve all your financial problems forever? If yes – how much money would that have to be? If no – why? If you’re single… pretend you're not.

I wouldn't even think about it unless the offer came first. Of course it sounds harmless, but could later open a Pandora's box (no pun intended). Let's go for a million GBP ;)

2 Do you get offended by race jokes? Do you tell race jokes?

I don't get offended. I don't tell jokes as such (though did when I was at school), but no doubt I sometimes make a crack via a pun or word association.
For me humour is art of cleverly putting a twist on concepts that people are familiar with. It's the sophistication of the twist that is funny or not, not the subject.

3 You run your own business. Someone else starts a competitive business just down the street, offering better merchendise, prices, etc. How do you react? Do you fight back? How 'dirty' will you play?

Assuming that they weren't playing dirty then I don't think I would start it. I'd be pissed off but I guess I'd just have to try harder or sell up.
I think that I couldn't cope with a downward spiral in feuding.

4 Let’s assume that time machine exists, works and is safe to use. You are offered a chance to travel in time. Would you rather go to the past or to the future? And of course: Why?

I'd be morbidly curious about the future as I don't see much hope for us. Going to the past would at least give me something specific to look for.
If it was a case of going to live forever, then it'd be a long long way in the past when I'd be able to live without other humans encroaching on my space as they'd probably just kill me or call me a witch (and kill me).

5 What did Materazzi say to Zidane in the match for gold during the 2006 football (soccer – that’s for you Joj and Andre) world championships, between France and Italy, to deserve the infamous headbutt from the French player?

I thought he said something like 'Your sister is a good shag', when in fact Zidane's sister had died the week before, or something.
Perhaps he simply said 'I think I have something in my eye. Can you have a close look?'Steven H. edytował(a) ten post dnia 20.06.08 o godzinie 09:33

Temat: Five 4 Friday 20.06.2008

1 Would you 'sell' your Significant Other for any amount of money (£, €, $, PLN, …) for one night, if it could solve all your financial problems forever? If yes – how much money would that have to be? If no – why? If you’re single… pretend you're not.

No way, mainly because it's not my decision, but also it's like Robin selling Batman, or Starsky selling Hutch, or somebody from later than the eighties selling their partner. NOT SOLD SEPERATELY
Except I've agreed to step aside if Johnny Depp declares his undying love for D, obviously.

2 Do you get offended by race jokes? Do you tell race jokes? I don’t mean horse race, mind you.

I don't get offended by race jokes if they're funny, but they're rarely funny. They're generally to be avoided and ignored if encountered -a bit like gypsies!

3 You run your own business. Someone else starts a competitive business just down the street, offering better merchendise, prices, etc. How do you react? Do you fight back? How 'dirty' will you play?

If I'm in a business, I sell only the best merchandise. If somebody offers better, I improve my merchandise, and customer service. Another important thing to remember: there are always niches!

4 Let’s assume that time machine exists, works and is safe to use. You are offered a chance to travel in time. Would you rather go to the past or to the future? And of course: Why?

I'd go back to the past, and lay a load of bets on at the bookies over a few years.

5 What did Materazzi say to Zidane in the match for gold during the 2006 football (soccer – that’s for you Joj and Andre) world championships, between France and Italy, to deserve the infamous headbutt from the French player?

"I bet you wouldn't headbutt me live in the final infront of all these people!"