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Temat: Direct translation

Hi guys!
What are the funniest or the most ridiculous direct translations (into English) that you ever heard. I'm guessing native speakers will have the most interesting examples. I'm doing some research and was looking for some very authentic examples. That you perhaps heard being used. :)
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Temat: Direct translation

Well nothing will ever beat you asking a black actress what it was like playing a black character.
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Ilter K.

Ilter K. Business Developer,
Music Producer, AVID
Certified Instru...

Temat: Direct translation

I've heard better ones, but you'd have to know Turkish for most of them.
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Marek M.

Marek M. Life

Temat: Direct translation

http://www.goldenline.pl/forum/anglosphere/403522
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Rafał D.

Rafał D. Head of Production,
Locon Sp. z o.o.

Temat: Direct translation

To suck a member.
To suck an instance.

But I'm not native ;)
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Jon M.

Jon M. Technical/Offshore
English,
petrochemicals

Temat: Direct translation

Anna W.:
Hi guys!
What are the funniest or the most ridiculous direct translations (into English) that you ever heard. I'm guessing native speakers will have the most interesting examples. I'm doing some research and was looking for some very authentic examples. That you perhaps heard being used. :)

Signs in lavatories are often bizarre.

There's a notice on the platform of the coach station in Poznan that says something like (if I remember): "The paid for toilet is beyond cash"

And in an office I visit sometimes they had a notice in the gents saying "Please do not throw away your gums into the toilet".
(Prosze nie wyrzucac dziaszlo do toalety!)
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Temat: Direct translation

Just go to any restaurant that boasts of having an English version of the menu. Fun guaranteed!
Jon, have you tried the strawberry testes at the pierogi place i Warsaw? :)
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Temat: Direct translation

Jon M.:

"Please do not throw away your gums into the
toilet".


thnx... I needed that hahahaha...
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Jon M.

Jon M. Technical/Offshore
English,
petrochemicals

Temat: Direct translation

Tatiana S.:
Just go to any restaurant that boasts of having an English version of the menu. Fun guaranteed!
Jon, have you tried the strawberry testes at the pierogi place i Warsaw? :)

I'm very tempted. Reminds me of a bar I once saw in Praga (Czeskie) called "U Terus".
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Temat: Direct translation

* You assist by composting yourself the ticket
* Instruction on Paris suburban RATP railways ("composter vos billets" is the French instruction for "validate your tickets")
or this:

Arsena Restaurant (Nessebar, Bulgaria)

Our aberrant atmosphere wound lead in a world in which all senses are contented. This is Restaurant “Arsena”! A restaurant “Arsena” is from the type new and bars with modern design feature quality. A restaurant with flair to the good cookhouse and advertant hand-picked wines.

We do not make compromises with the quality that wound not offer. We think that the success obscures itself in the attitude to the detail and its good use. We aim therefore to offer only that which will fulfill your expectations to you for quality and a prestige.

The fanciers to the good cookhouse will discover a special in each dish Cook by our actor Cook Nikola Nikolov that had completed one from the most prestigious colleges in England, as well as had a diploma with the brand – “Le Cordon Bleu” that is guarantor for excellent knowing and command in the traditional french kitchen.

Nikola Nikolov has been an alumnus at the european cookery school and has specialized in fishy restaurants, that are one from the most known in England.Tatiana S. edytował(a) ten post dnia 06.11.08 o godzinie 20:03
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Temat: Direct translation

Menu item translations
The following are items found overseas in which people have made inappropriate use of English words for various products, and bizarre menu items in restaurants.

Cold shredded children and sea blubber in spicy sauce - China

Indonesian Nazi Goreng - Hong Kong

Muscles Of Marines/Lobster Thermos - Cairo

French fried ships - Cairo

Garlic Coffee - Europe

Sole Bonne Femme (Fish Landlady style) - Europe

Boiled Frogfish - Europe

Sweat from the trolley - Europe

Dreaded veal cutlet with potatoes in cream - China

Rainbow Trout, Fillet Streak, Popotoes, Chocolate Mouse - Hong Kong

Roasted duck let loose - Poland

Beef rashers beaten up in the country peoples fashion - Poland

Fried friendship - Nepal

Strawberry crap - Japan

Pork with fresh garbage - Vietnam

Toes with butter and jam - Bali

French Creeps - L.A.

Fried fishermen - Japan

Teppan Yaki - Before Your Cooked Right Eyes - Japan

Pepelea's Meat Balls - Romania

Product Names

Clean Finger Nail - Chinese tissues

Kolic - Japanese mineral water

Creap Creamy Powder - Japanese Coffee Creamer

Swine - Chinese chocolates

Libido - Chinese soda

Pocari Sweat - Japanese sport drink

Shocking - Japanese chewing gum

Cat Wetty - Japanese moistened hand towels

Pipi - Yugoslavian orangeade

Polio - Czechoslovakian laundry detergent

Crundy - Japanese gourmet candy

Superglans - Netherlands car wax

I'm Dripper - Japanese instant coffee

Zit - Greek soft drink

Colon Plus - Spanish detergent
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Aleksandra P.

Aleksandra P. Specjalista HR

Temat: Direct translation

How about:

"The matter that hates the corpse"
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Alicja Efejska

Alicja Efejska Lektor, PEN

Temat: Direct translation

Jon M.:


There's a notice on the platform of the coach station in Poznan that says something like (if I remember): "The paid for toilet is beyond cash"

It's not true! There aren't any notices in English at the coach station here!
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Temat: Direct translation

I remember a full list of them, my fav being "I see in boat" - do you know which soccer club that was?
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Aleksandra P.

Aleksandra P. Specjalista HR

Temat: Direct translation

Tatiana S.:
I remember a full list of them, my fav being "I see in boat" - do you know which soccer club that was?

Widzew Łódź?
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Temat: Direct translation

A few nice ones collected by the girls at my previous job:
The right to drive (prawo jazdy)
Martial status...
And my absolute hero, a guy who'd said he came from "Bristle Bay".

I remember it took the HR people ages to discover he'd meant Zatoka Szczecińska.
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Aleksandra P.

Aleksandra P. Specjalista HR

Temat: Direct translation

"martial status" could be a simple typo.
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Ilter K.

Ilter K. Business Developer,
Music Producer, AVID
Certified Instru...

Temat: Direct translation

I remember posting these sometime ago, but here you go:

English signs in Foreign countries

In a Bangkok temple:
"IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER, IF DRESSED AS A MAN."

Cocktail lounge, Norway:
"LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR."

Doctors office, Rome:
"SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

Dry cleaners, Bangkok:
"DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS.

In a Nairobi restaurant:
"CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER."

On an Athi River highway:this is the main road to Mombasa, leaving
Nairobi.
"TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE."

On a poster at Kencom:
"ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE CAN HELP."

In a City restaurant:
"OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS."

A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer:
"DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS."

In a cemetery:
"PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES."

Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:
"GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN
BED."

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
"OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR."

In a Tokyo bar:
"SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS."

Hotel, Yugoslavia:
"THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID."

Hotel, Japan:
"YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID."

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
"YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY."

A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:
"IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE."

Hotel, Zurich:
"BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE."

Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:
"WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?"

The box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong:
"GUARANTEED TO WORK THROUGHOUT ITS USEFUL LIFE."

In a Swiss mountain inn:
"SPECIAL TODAY - NO ICE-CREAM."

Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:
"WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS."

A laundry in Rome:
"LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME."
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Jon M.

Jon M. Technical/Offshore
English,
petrochemicals

Temat: Direct translation

Alicja Efejska:
Jon M.:


There's a notice on the platform of the coach station in Poznan that says something like (if I remember): "The paid for toilet is beyond cash"

It's not true! There aren't any notices in English at the coach station here!

It's true. Look on the outside wall (under the canopy on the right side of the building as you're looking at it). I was there not long ago.
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Jon M.

Jon M. Technical/Offshore
English,
petrochemicals

Temat: Direct translation

and has specialized in fishy restaurants, that are one from the most known in England.

It's admittedly crude, but the worst English to Polish translation I ever saw was by an English person who translated 'fishnet tights' (burdelowki) as 'Rajstopy Rybny' (fishy tights).
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