GoldenLine
Zaloguj się
Steve Jones

Steve Jones Business English
Trainer, Translator,
Proofreader

Temat: Five for Friday (24.07.2009)

Almost didn't happen this week, you crazy mothers, cos I was finding it a bit tricky getting on the internet out here in Augustow!

Anyway, thanks to Jarek Adamowski for these ones!

1. Gimme a good idea for a team building workshop. "Pub crawl", "strip clubs" and similar won't be accepted.
2. If you're traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens?
3. Why are there Braille signs on drive-up ATM's?
4. If God sneezes...what should you say?
last but not aaand least...
5. Who the fuck is Alice?
Link do wypowiedziLink

konto usunięte

Temat: Five for Friday (24.07.2009)

Steve Jones:
Almost didn't happen this week, you crazy mothers, cos I was finding it a bit tricky getting on the internet out here in Augustow!

Anyway, thanks to Jarek Adamowski for these ones!

1. Gimme a good idea for a team building workshop. "Pub crawl", "strip clubs" and similar won't be accepted.

Team brawl at a strip club.
2. If you're traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens?

You can't travel at a speed of light, you can come close to it... but never reach it.
3. Why are there Braille signs on drive-up ATM's?

Same reason there are listings for clinics for the blind in the yellow pages, or phone lines for the deaf.
4. If God sneezes...what should you say?

Nothing, people may think yer talking to yourself and think you're some sort of a loony. Last time I've checked, talking to invisible people was considered a sign of schizophrenia.
last but not aaand least...
5. Who the fuck is Alice?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fClo1W9a65s
Link do wypowiedziLink

konto usunięte

Temat: Five for Friday (24.07.2009)

Steve Jones:
Almost didn't happen this week, you crazy mothers, cos I was finding it a bit tricky getting on the internet out here in Augustow!

Good for you! I can't wait to go offline!

Anyway, thanks to Jarek Adamowski for these ones!

Kudos to Jarek.

1. Gimme a good idea for a team building workshop. "Pub crawl", "strip clubs" and similar won't be accepted.

A pub crawl to a strip joint?
Actually, outdoor activities usually do the trick, but I hate paintball and/or quads.
2. If you're traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens?

I always travel in my Heart of Gold and turn the Improbability Drive on... not sure about the speed of light.
3. Why are there Braille signs on drive-up ATM's?

Same as stairs leading to the elevators in a building I used to live in.
4. If God sneezes...what should you say?

Who?
last but not aaand least...
5. Who the fuck is Alice?

You mean the hopeless junkie that followed the white rabbit and munched on magic mushrooms?
Link do wypowiedziLink
Ilter K.

Ilter K. Business Developer,
Music Producer, AVID
Certified Instru...

Temat: Five for Friday (24.07.2009)

1. Gimme a good idea for a team building workshop. "Pub crawl", "strip clubs" and similar won't be accepted.
I don't give out ideas for free when it is asked this way, since I discovered they are valuable, and some people are making money on it.
2. If you're traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens?
According to the rules of relativity, nothing exceptional.
3. Why are there Braille signs on drive-up ATM's?
It is for the blind who is sitting on the lap of drivers.
You tawt it is for drivers? You ARE naive...
4. If God sneezes...what should you say?
Take care of yourself!
5. Who the fuck is Alice?
Some people tend to give human names to their pets, true, but I presume it must be a person, and probably a female person.
Link do wypowiedziLink
Aleksandra P.

Aleksandra P. Specjalista HR

Temat: Five for Friday (24.07.2009)

Steve Jones:

Anyway, thanks to Jarek Adamowski for these ones!

1. Gimme a good idea for a team building workshop. "Pub crawl",
"strip clubs" and similar won't be accepted.
How about a home-made version of Hell’s Kitchen? Invite a bunch of hungry guests, choose the menu, rent a small restaurant for a night and try not to kill each other when appointing The Chef.

Prefer to combine fun with something more useful? Try corporate volunteering – it’s a great team-building activity.
2. If you're traveling at the speed of light and you turn your
headlights on, what happens?
Close encounters of another kind.
3. Why are there Braille signs on drive-up ATM's?
For blind passengers sitting behind the driver perhaps?
4. If God sneezes...what should you say?
“Use a hanky, for God’s sake!”
last but not aaand least...
5. Who the fuck is Alice?
It’s this nosy little girl who fell into a rabbit-hole.
Link do wypowiedziLink
Bernd Schreckenberg

Bernd Schreckenberg I am an experienced
teacher, with a
diverse background,
h...

Temat: Five for Friday (24.07.2009)

Steve Jones:
Almost didn't happen this week, you crazy mothers, cos I was finding it a bit tricky getting on the internet out here in Augustow!

Anyway, thanks to Jarek Adamowski for these ones!

1. Gimme a good idea for a team building workshop. "Pub crawl", "strip clubs" and similar won't be accepted.

Produce an artistic relevant porn-movie.
2. If you're traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens?

You can see the old lady crawling in her space cruiser in front of you.
3. Why are there Braille signs on drive-up ATM's?

Machines need sex too.
4. If God sneezes...what should you say?
last but not aaand least...

I don't sneeze.
5. Who the fuck is Alice?

Must have been a drunk one.
Link do wypowiedziLink

konto usunięte

Temat: Five for Friday (24.07.2009)

Steve Jones:
Almost didn't happen this week, you crazy mothers
Thank you for taking the trouble, Steve. Quite groovy. :)
Anyway, thanks to Jarek Adamowski for these ones!
Thanks, JAzzek!
1. Gimme a good idea for a team building workshop.
Have a firing party. Then hire more people like you, J.
2. If you're traveling at the speed of light
Hey, man. We're all travelers here, J. If we encounter other speed travelers it's probably best to avoid eye contact, right? You're safe. Now put the pin back in the grenade and let's talk, J. Wow (using my finger to make a spiral motion around my ear). :)))

We suppose Raf. W. is right. Let's get him a new pocket protector and a self-help book, "How to Get a Life." hehe
3. Why are there Braille signs on drive-up ATM's?
I'll be grateful for them myself after I drink Ania's nalewki and go blind. I can't afford a trustworthy aide to drive me around - only ex-convicts, and I don't trust my family or friends either, and especially none of you I might meet.
4. If God sneezes...what should you say?
Why the tornado, God? I needed that roof!
last but not aaand least...
5. Who the fuck is Alice?
I make the skojarzenie to a 1970's television situation comedy about a single mother, who was working in an Arizona diner. "Alice."Joj Y. edytował(a) ten post dnia 24.07.09 o godzinie 19:16
Link do wypowiedziLink

konto usunięte

Temat: Five for Friday (24.07.2009)

Joj Y.:
I make the skojarzenie to a 1970's television situation comedy about a single mother, who was working in an Arizona diner. "Alice."Joj Y. edytował(a) ten post dnia 24.07.09 o godzinie 19:16
Or going back one more decade?
This song is called Alice's Restaurant, and it's about Alice, and the restaurant, but Alice's Restaurant is not the name of the restaurant, that's just the name of the song, and that's why I called the song Alice's Restaurant.
Link do wypowiedziLink

konto usunięte

Temat: Five for Friday (24.07.2009)

I didn't want to have to do this, but since I can't go back one more decade still, you force me to the future, in which I have met a woman named Alicja and write a song myself. "Why is Our Child Black? (That was Malice, Alice)"

(Mel's Diner). :)Joj Y. edytował(a) ten post dnia 24.07.09 o godzinie 20:01
Link do wypowiedziLink
Ilter K.

Ilter K. Business Developer,
Music Producer, AVID
Certified Instru...

Temat: Five for Friday (24.07.2009)

Joj Y.:
2. If you're traveling at the speed of light
Hey, man. We're all travelers here, J.
Dude you're so deep, I needed to take a leak to clear up my brain.
haha
Link do wypowiedziLink

konto usunięte

Temat: Five for Friday (24.07.2009)


Anyway, thanks to Jarek Adamowski for these ones!

thanks

1. Gimme a good idea for a team building workshop. "Pub crawl", "strip clubs" and similar won't be accepted.

'treasure' hunt around the city
2. If you're traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens?

OMG, bloody headlights' traffic jam again!
3. Why are there Braille signs on drive-up ATM's?

so there is less empty space on them
4. If God sneezes...what should you say?

Pollen? In heaven?
last but not aaand least...
5. Who the fuck is Alice?

Julie's successor
Link do wypowiedziLink
Steve Jones

Steve Jones Business English
Trainer, Translator,
Proofreader

Temat: Five for Friday (24.07.2009)

1. Gimme a good idea for a team building workshop. "Pub crawl", "strip clubs" and similar won't be accepted.

Throw a party! With a twist.... ;)
2. If you're traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens?

You implode!
3. Why are there Braille signs on drive-up ATM's?

Cos the company that produces them produces one set for standard ATMs and the same one gets used for drive-ups. If they had to produce two sets, the cost would be higher and that would be passed on to the paying customer: you!
4. If God sneezes...what should you say?

You should say: gersundheit! (I think...)
last but not aaand least...
5. Who the fuck is Alice?

I think she's a metaphor...
Link do wypowiedziLink

konto usunięte

Temat: Five for Friday (24.07.2009)

>I was
finding it a bit tricky getting on the internet out here in Augustow!

Another blockade? Shouldn't you go to the Rospuda Valley...
Anyway, thanks to Jarek Adamowski for these ones!

Jarek, you are famous!
1. Gimme a good idea for a team building workshop. "Pub crawl", "strip clubs" and similar won't be accepted.

Actually, we have better ones in Professional. But ask for offer of(f)icially. Language, that matters...
2. If you're traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens?

Are you Han Solo? Chew your backup...
3. Why are there Braille signs on drive-up ATM's?

You know, for kids!
4. If God sneezes...what should you say?

Vaccinate yourself!
last but not aaand least...
5. Who the fuck is Alice?

Our office's maid.
Link do wypowiedziLink

konto usunięte

Temat: Five for Friday (24.07.2009)

Paweł B.:
Jarek, you are famous!
A burden I have chosen to live with.
Link do wypowiedziLink
Bernd Schreckenberg

Bernd Schreckenberg I am an experienced
teacher, with a
diverse background,
h...

Temat: Five for Friday (24.07.2009)

Steve Jones:
4. If God sneezes...what should you say?

You should say: gersundheit! (I think...)

He'll understand ;)
Link do wypowiedziLink
Agnieszka Piasecka

Agnieszka Piasecka Ukraina, jeśli
krótko.

Temat: Five for Friday (24.07.2009)

Steve Jones:
Almost didn't happen this week, you crazy mothers, cos I was finding it a bit tricky getting on the internet out here in Augustow!

Anyway, thanks to Jarek Adamowski for these ones!

1. Gimme a good idea for a team building workshop. "Pub crawl", "strip clubs" and similar won't be accepted.

Not for me to answer.
2. If you're traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens?

Not a clue.
3. Why are there Braille signs on drive-up ATM's?

Thanks for answer Steve. I am just back from holiday and have no intention to think.
4. If God sneezes...what should you say?

No idea :)
last but not aaand least...
5. Who the fuck is Alice?

Haha
Link do wypowiedziLink
Sylwia Łubkowska

Sylwia Łubkowska Nauczyciel oraz
tłumacz j.
angielskiego

Temat: Five for Friday (24.07.2009)

Steve Jones:
Almost didn't happen this week, you crazy mothers, cos I was finding it a bit tricky getting on the internet out here in Augustow!

Anyway, thanks to Jarek Adamowski for these ones!

1. Gimme a good idea for a team building workshop. "Pub crawl", "strip clubs" and similar won't be accepted.

I'd go and see Adam Słodowy - he can build anything, even a team. And with him being so nice and helpful I'm sure he'll be very happy to demonstrate the ways to do it.
2. If you're traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens?

You'll be traveling along with the headlights light at the same speed. And I guess you won't actually see any light in front of you but you probably will see it on your sides.
3. Why are there Braille signs on drive-up ATM's?

Are there? ;))
4. If God sneezes...what should you say?

Bless yourself ;))
last but not aaand least...
5. Who the fuck is Alice?

A.L.I.C.E. = Artificial Linguistic Internet Computer Entity, the most famous fembot?
Link do wypowiedziLink

konto usunięte

Temat: Five for Friday (24.07.2009)

ilter K.:
Joj Y.:
2. If you're traveling at the speed of light
Hey, man. We're all travelers here, J.
Dude you're so deep, I needed to take a leak to clear up my brain.
haha
Our dad used to come around when it was time for us to wake up, two or three of us to a room, and once in a while KNOCK KNOCK "Ay! Wake up and piss. The world's on fire."

He really had a way with words. hehe
Link do wypowiedziLink
« Wróć do tematów
Odpowiedz

Podobne tematy


Następna dyskusja:

Five for Friday 12.06.2009




Wyślij zaproszenie do
Anuluj