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Łukasz G.

Łukasz G. Senior Technical
Sales Manager w
Tripleplay Ltd.

Temat: dowcipy po angielsku

I had to call my bank today and they put me through to a call centre in Pakistan.

Terrible line, I couldn't understand a word, it sounded like they were under water.
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Radek J.

Radek J. Nauczyciel, trener
EFT

Temat: dowcipy po angielsku


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Radek Jóźwiak edytował(a) ten post dnia 07.08.10 o godzinie 10:36
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Łukasz G.

Łukasz G. Senior Technical
Sales Manager w
Tripleplay Ltd.

Temat: dowcipy po angielsku

I have decided to write all my jokes in capitals from now on.

This one was written in London.
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Andrzej Ziemba

Andrzej Ziemba Impossible is
nothing...

Temat: dowcipy po angielsku

Basia K.:
fonetyczny
-What is better than roses on the piano?
-Tulips on the organ

hicior normalnie :)
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Agata W.

Agata W. Do or do not...
there is no try
Specjalista
d...

Temat: dowcipy po angielsku


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Agata Wącław edytował(a) ten post dnia 13.08.10 o godzinie 17:32
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konto usunięte

Temat: dowcipy po angielsku

.Ten post został edytowany przez Autora dnia 27.08.15 o godzinie 12:27
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Kamilla W.

Kamilla W. Doradca zawodowy -
stażysta

Temat: dowcipy po angielsku

Teacher:
Pepito, can you tell me the name of 3 great kings who have brought happiness and peace into people's lives?

Pepito answered:
Drin-king, smo-king and fuc-king.
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Kamilla W.

Kamilla W. Doradca zawodowy -
stażysta

Temat: dowcipy po angielsku

One guy went to gun-shop:
- i want some gun.
- what kind of gun would you like?
- This one! - and he points at the biggest gun in the shop
- may i ask what would you like to shoot at ?
- cans
- what kind of cans ??
- mexi-cans, afri-cans,portori-cans
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Marek B.

Marek B. Sales Manager,
softnetSPORT

Temat: dowcipy po angielsku

When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harrasment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 a minute.Marek B. edytował(a) ten post dnia 19.08.10 o godzinie 18:35
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Marek B.

Marek B. Sales Manager,
softnetSPORT

Temat: dowcipy po angielsku

I always go up to girl in a club and whisper in her ear...

"I can touch the bottom of a Pringles can when erect."

God bless snack size pots.
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Marek B.

Marek B. Sales Manager,
softnetSPORT

Temat: dowcipy po angielsku

I picked up a hitch hiker. You've got to when you hit them.

I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands when they first came out. I say 'bought', I actually stole it off a short, fat ginger kid.

Dave drowned. So at the funeral we got him a wreath in the shape of a lifebelt. Well, it's what he would have wanted.
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Łukasz G.

Łukasz G. Senior Technical
Sales Manager w
Tripleplay Ltd.

Temat: dowcipy po angielsku

TIP: If you've forgotten your Bluetooth headset, wearing sunglasses indoors is an equally effective twat indicator.
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Radek J.

Radek J. Nauczyciel, trener
EFT

Temat: dowcipy po angielsku

Jakoś mi tu pasuje....

Para z Rosji przyjeżdża na Kanary do hotelu.
Wchodzą na pokoje, rozpakowują się. Nagle mąż słyszy krzyki żony:
- Tu jest mysz!!!! Aaaaa!!!! Dzwoń natychmiast do recepcji i powiedz co tu jest grane!!! Tyle pieniędzy zapłaciliśmy a tu myszy biegają w pokoju. Znasz przecież trochę angielski, a ja angielskiego ni w ząb.
Zrezygnowany mąż dzwoni do recepcji:
- Heloł!
- Hello.
- Du ju noł "Tom end Dżery"?
- Yes.
- Dżery is hir...Radek Jóźwiak edytował(a) ten post dnia 10.09.10 o godzinie 11:27
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Ewa R.

Ewa R. OTC trader

Temat: dowcipy po angielsku

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zImaY1OLPx0&feature=rel...
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Agata W.

Agata W. Do or do not...
there is no try
Specjalista
d...

Temat: dowcipy po angielsku


Obrazek
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Łukasz G.

Łukasz G. Senior Technical
Sales Manager w
Tripleplay Ltd.

Temat: dowcipy po angielsku

A fossil of a jawbone was recently found that was believed to be over 1,000,000 years old.

Scientists knew that it belonged to a woman as it was still moving
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Mateusz P.

Mateusz P. logi(sty)ka

Temat: dowcipy po angielsku

Polish Your English

to underpepper - podpieprzyc
oh, chicken! - o kurcze!
room with you - pokój z toba
brain tire fire - zapalenie opon mózgowych
shit goes around me - gówno mnie to obchodzi
i feel a train to you - czuje do ciebie pociag
it doesn't hold the shit - nie trzyma sie kupy
in the face of a hedgehog - w mordę jeża
blind lottery-ticket - ślepy los
outpepper yourself! - odpieprz sie!
half of a K - półka
i wifed myself - ożenilem sie
Arek's garbage - smieciarka
Don't make a village - nie rób wiochy
Don't turn my guitar - nie zawracaj mi gitary
Thanks from the mountain - dziekuję z góry
go out on people - wyjść na ludzi
It's after birds - już po ptokach
a.. I tower you - wierzę ci
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konto usunięte

Temat: dowcipy po angielsku

What do you call a man with his knob in a biscuit tin?

F**king crackers
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Marek B.

Marek B. Sales Manager,
softnetSPORT

Temat: dowcipy po angielsku

I had a girlfriend who couldn't count, we had such great threesomes.

My girlfriend left me because she thinks I have no respect for women. I'm not sure what she meant exactly but I'm gonna miss her tits.

It's funny how people change.Although, apparently that's not a valid excuse for lurking around changing rooms.

My girlfriend said we each needed to make sacrifices to make our relationshp work.She was less than impressed by a dead goat in our kitchenMarek B. edytował(a) ten post dnia 09.10.10 o godzinie 17:15
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Radek J.

Radek J. Nauczyciel, trener
EFT

Temat: dowcipy po angielsku

The Woman Marine Pilot
The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories.
There were all the regular types of stuff: spilled milk and pennies saved. But then the teacher realized, much to her dismay, that only Janie was left.
“Janie, do you have a story to share?'
''Yes ma'am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy. She was a Marine pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife.
She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break, and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops. She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.
''Good Heavens,' said the horrified teacher. 'What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?
"Don't fuck with Mommy when she's been drinking."
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