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Benny K.

Benny K. Iluzjonista "Nie
słowa lecz czyny
mówią prawdę"-własne

Temat: dowcipy po angielsku


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Benny K.

Benny K. Iluzjonista "Nie
słowa lecz czyny
mówią prawdę"-własne

Temat: dowcipy po angielsku


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Mateusz P.

Mateusz P. logi(sty)ka

Temat: dowcipy po angielsku

My Neighbours - the lesbians next door - asked me what I would like for my birthday. I was quite surprised when they gave me a Rolex. It was very nice of them, but I think they misunderstood me when I said,
"I wanna watch."
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Jacek Kacprzak

Jacek Kacprzak Mam wyje*ane...

Temat: dowcipy po angielsku

What is a >>period<<????
for women: another week full of pain
for men: blowjob week...
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Temat: dowcipy po angielsku

Jacek Kacprzak:
What is a >>period<<????
> for women: another week full of pain
for men: blowjob week...
yes but ... for women that`s the blowjob too (or more like this .. :)
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Agnieszka W.

Agnieszka W. .

Temat: dowcipy po angielsku

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGDEZZetYQU
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Marek B.

Marek B. Sales Manager,
softnetSPORT

Temat: dowcipy po angielsku

Piss off your postman by telling him he is a mail escort
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Bartosz Z.

Bartosz Z. Life is not a
destination - it's a
journey

Temat: dowcipy po angielsku

A radio station was running a competition – words that weren't in the dictionary yet could still be used in a sentence that would make logical sense. The prize was a trip to Bali.

DJ: “96 FM here, what’s your name?”
Caller: “Hi, my name’s Dave.”
DJ: “Dave, what’s your word?”
Caller: “Goan... spelt G-O-A-N pronounced ‘go-an’.”
DJ: “You are correct, Dave, ‘goan’ is not in the dictionary. Now, for a trip to Bali: What sentence can you use that word in that would make sense?”
Caller: “Goan fuck yourself!”

The DJ cut the caller off and took other calls, all unsuccessful until:
DJ: “96 FM, what’s your name?”
Caller: “Hi, me name’s Jeff.”
DJ: “Jeff, what’s your word?”
Caller: “Smee, spelt S-M-E-E, pronounced ‘smee’.”
DJ: “You are correct, Jeff, ‘smee’ is not in the dictionary. Now, for a trip to Bali: What sentence can you use that word in that would make sense?”
Caller: “Smee again! Goan fuck yourself!”
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Temat: dowcipy po angielsku

The finals of the National Poetry Contest last year came down to two finalists. One was a University of Alabama Law School graduate from an upper crust family; well-bred, well-connected, and all that goes with it. The other finalist was a redneck from Auburn University in Alabama.

The rules of the contest required each finalist to compose a four-line poem in one minute or less, and the poem had to contain the word "Timbuktu."

The Duke graduate went first. About thirty seconds after the clock started, he jumped up and recited the following poem:

"Slowly across the desert sand
Trekked the dusty caravan.
Men on camels, two by two
Destination-Timbuktu."

The audience went wild! How they wondered could the redneck top that?

The clock started again and the redneck sat in silent thought. Finally, in the last few seconds, he jumped up and recited:

"Tim and me, a-huntin' went.
Met three girls in a pop-up tent.
They was three, we was two,
So I bucked one and Timbuktu."
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Mariusz Sadurski

Mariusz Sadurski Marketing & PR

Temat: dowcipy po angielsku

Dubai don’t like The Flintstones.
But Abu Dhabi do.
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Dorota R.

Dorota R. Kadry i płace; HR;
obsługa Klienta

Temat: dowcipy po angielsku

- How to spot a blind man in a nudist colony?
- It's not hard...
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Marek B.

Marek B. Sales Manager,
softnetSPORT

Temat: dowcipy po angielsku

My girlfriend got mad and told me that I treat her like a child. So, I gave her a sticker for standing up for herself.
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Temat: dowcipy po angielsku

A rich blond buys the New Automatic BMW X6 Sport.
She drives the car perfectly well during the day,
but at night the car just won't move at all.

She tries driving the car at night for a week but still no luck.

She then furiously calls the BMW dealer and they send out a technician to her. The technician asks

"Ma'am, are you sure you are using the right gears??"



Full of anger, the blond replies

"You fool, idiot man, how could you ask such a question?

I'm not stupid!! I use D for Day and N for Night.."
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Temat: dowcipy po angielsku

GOD ENJOYS A GOOD LAUGH.

There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:

1. He called everyone brother

2. He liked Gospel

3. He didn't get a fair trial

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:

1. He went into His Father's business

2. He lived at home until he was 33

3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and

his Mother was sure He was God

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:

1. He talked with His hands

2. He had wine with His meals

3. He used olive oil

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:

1. He never cut His hair

2. He walked around barefoot all the time

3. He started a new religion

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian:

1. He was at peace with nature

2. He ate a lot of fish

3. He talked about the Great Spirit

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:

1. He never got married..

2. He was always telling stories.

3. He loved green pastures.

But the most compelling evidence of all,

3 proofs that Jesus was a woman:

1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was virtually no food

2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it

3. And even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was still work to do

Can I get an AMEN?
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Temat: dowcipy po angielsku

A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive. She lives for ten more years, and then dies. A ceremony is again held at the same place, and at the end of the ceremony the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket. As they are walking, the husband cries out, "watch out for the fucking wall!'''
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Temat: dowcipy po angielsku

A few days ago, President of Ukraine Victor Yanucovich was given some Basic English conversation training before he visits Washington and meets president Barack Obama... The instructor told Victor Yanucovich, when you shake hand with President Obama, please say 'how r u'. Then Mr. Obama would say, 'I am fine, and you?' Now, you should say 'me too'. Afterwards we, translators, will do the work for you.'
It looks quite simple, but the truth is...When Victor met Obama, he mistakenly said 'who r u?' (Instead of 'How r u?'.)
Mr. Obama was a bit shocked but still managed to react with humor: 'Well, I'm Michelle's husband, ha-ha...'
Then Victor Yanucovich replied 'me too, ha-ha....’
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Temat: dowcipy po angielsku

An older man, not in the best physical condition,
asked the Trainer in the gym:

"I want to impress that beautiful girl. Which machine should I use?"

The trainer replied, "The ATM machine at the bank across the street."
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Benny K.

Benny K. Iluzjonista "Nie
słowa lecz czyny
mówią prawdę"-własne

Temat: dowcipy po angielsku


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Marek B.

Marek B. Sales Manager,
softnetSPORT

Temat: dowcipy po angielsku

When a woman says: 'What?' it's not because she didn't hear you. She's giving you a chance to change what you said.
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Dominik A.

Dominik A. Badam nowe ścieżki.

Temat: dowcipy po angielsku

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement.
He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife, "Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.

One night, they go to a party.
The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well.
He shouts at the top of his voice,
..."Shall we go home 'Mother of Six?”
His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts right back:
"Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."
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