Temat: Room 101:
Right,
Having thought about it, then going away for a few days, and coming back, here are my 5:
1. Old People
They're retired, they have few friends, and all their relatives are living in other towns or busy during they day, so WHERE THE F--K ARE THEY ALL GOING IN THE RUSH-HOUR TRAMS AND BUSES TAKING UP SEATS?
Just because you have free travel doesn't mean you have to use it when the people who work to pay youur pension are on tehir way to work, then clicking your tongue until they stand up and let you sit down. Of course, all the old people in the world are on the buses at 7:30 in the morning to get to the clinic in time for you to not get to make your doctor's appointment -and then they apply this esoteric system of queueing which means that, although they have not been anywhere near the line of people standing at the door, just because they have entered the room and sat down at the opposite end, everyone is supposed to automatically know that they are "in the queue". By the way, old people, EVERYBODY WHO IS STANDING IN THE QUEUE AT THE POST OFFICE HAS JUST COME IN FOR SOME STAMPS -that's why they're queueing! Now get to the back. My wife was seven months pregnant with twins, and had to renew her dowód. She stood in the queue for an hour. Not only did none of the old farts let her jump the queue, the three who were sitting didn't even offer to give her a break and let her sit down!
2. The British Occupation of Ireland
Not for the reasons you think. To be honest, if it hadn't happened, we'd be a provincial backwater speaking a minority language and lacking the linguistic and socio-economic skills to have achieved such the success that we gained through emigration. Here, the problem is everyone assuming I'm English, which really gets on my nerves. Especially the way so many peopel are dismissive upon correction. I also get annoted by the anomalies that my countrymen throw up, for example preferring to shop in BHS rather than Dunnes Stores, watching Friends on E4 rather than RTE, or wearing a Liverpool top with "Gerrard" written on the back, and cheering the man on every Saturday, but calling him a specific part of the female anatomy when he wears an England top. I've overheard Dubliners telling people speaking Irish to "f--k off back to their own country"! Granted, much of this is down to a large section of Irish society not reading as many books as you or I might, but the
occupation was a catalyst. Also, the times during the 800 years when English occupation was particularly harsh have left us with a huge backlog of dire folk music. Don't con yourself, it's not quaint, it's poo.
3. John de Mol
Big Brother, Star Academy, Hire or Fire, Deal or no Deal, Who wants to be a Millionaire? The man is singlehandedly responsible for Television deciding not to need writers, plots, actors, interesting shows, intelligent topics. Put him in Room 101 twice!
4. 19-year-old girls
Now I appreciate the aesthetics of a mini dress getting out of a mini car as much as anybody, and the infective effervescence of this particular creature is very desireable. However, they are responsible for male humans from the ages of 15 to 90 acting like morons. When I think of what I've said or done to try to impress one of them in the past (of course the secret is that they are biologically engineered not to be impressed by any man who shows a millisecond of interest in them), I still go red. In addition, they are well-honed in ascerbic, cutting put-downs which, when they have no target, they unleash upon strangers who look different. Even now, when I see a group walking down the street, I suck in the gut, and hate myself.
5. Horse Racing
No noble reason, it's just that growing up, I spent a lot of time in my grandparents', and Channel Four Racing was always on, and we were never allowed watch anything that kids'd like. Not Fair!
Keith Byrne edytował(a) ten post dnia 14.04.08 o godzinie 11:27
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