Temat: Sylvie Imelda Shene

WELCOME

Welcome to the website of Sylvie Imelda Shene.

I offer emotional support, encouragement and information to individuals in need of an understanding witness on their side.

My vision is a world in which all beings, especially children, are treated with dignity, respect, understanding, and compassion. If children grow with understanding and compassion, they will protect and treat with compassion all beings that are vulnerable and weaker than they are.

“Child abuse happens one child at a time, and is faced alone by each victim. The question should not be, 'Why are they compelled to tell their stories?' but rather, 'Why doesn’t our country feel compelled to listen to their stories?'” states Timmen L. Cermak, MD in the foreword of Suzanne Somers’ book Wednesday’s Children; Adult Survivors of Abuse Speak Out.

Today I hve found the answer to this question. The reason most people don’t want to listen to the stories of abuse is because if they listen to the painful truth of others they would have to face their own painful truth - that they too have suffered some form of child abuse.

Unfortunately, most of us come from abusive family systems; and our schools and institutions continue that abuse. A lot of people cannot handle it. They don't have the courage to face and feel the painful truth that we have been abused by those that were supposed to love and care for us.

Now, in our adult life, we may have turned into abusers ourselves. In his book How to Know God Deepak Chopra says “You will know a lot about human motivation once you realize one thing: ninety-nine percent of humanity spends ninety-nine percent of their time trying to avoid painful truths.
For more information and photos also, visit my page at MySpace.com.

http://www.sylvieshene.com/Sabina Gatti edytował(a) ten post dnia 13.08.10 o godzinie 12:43

Temat: Sylvie Imelda Shene

INTRODUCTION
About Me - My Story
I come from an emotionally ill family. A terrible and painful plight no one ever wanted to talk about robbed my childhood and that of my brothers and sisters. My father drank compulsively to deal with his emotional pain.

I never understood what my real past meant or how it had affected me. I had buried it. It was out of my sight. But when I was on my third failing relationship and having my sister embezzle my money to support her partner’s addictive behaviors. I was forced to look for answers.

My memories had been buried. Growing up in a dysfunctional family did have a devastating effect on me, and my entire family. I began to relive the pain I had been avoiding.

I used to think I emerged from the family intact and okay. Out of ten of us, three died in tragic accidents and one is disabled because of an accident. Two brothers drank to deal with the emotional pain. We the four girls put our focus on others so we did not have to feel our own pain. Because I did not have problems with alcohol or drugs, I thought I was okay, and like millions of others, I did not understand why my life had been messed up for so long. I always blamed myself. I never connected growing up with a dysfunctional family to my behavior as an adult. But now I had connected the dots that the present pain was connected to the pain of my childhood and youth.

My childhood was not normal. I grew up watching my father passing out from drinking too much, while my mother prayed and paid the bills, hoping one day it would all just go away. Meanwhile, I watched my oldest sisters and brothers becoming obsessed with controlling everyone’s behaviors.

I watched everyone argue and abuse one another. I never knew what would happen next. I didn't know what was real. The house was filled with anger and fear, but we pretended to the outside world everything was okay.

I believed that once I left that environment, my troubles would disappear. Not so. The pain didn't go away; I just repressed it. My childhood and youth was my training ground for life. In order to get better, I needed to deal with the ordeal of my childhood and youth. I had to relive it to get rid of it. There was no escape.

http://www.sylvieshene.com/about.htm

Temat: Sylvie Imelda Shene

About Me - After the Breakup

What could have been worse than coming to the end of the only career I ever had, losing my house, everything I ever owned, and losing the person I loved the most in my life? Had I not lost everything I ever owned, had I been able to continue with this career, and continue being with this person, would I have faced my painful truth and become honest with myself? Coming to America, getting a fun career making a lot of money, and being with this person was an amazing gift, an opportunity of a lifetime. It felt like speeding along on a highway.



Then one day when I thought I was getting closer to this person, it felt like someone opened the back door of the car and kicked me out. Suddenly I found myself standing on the side of the road all alone, watching a cloud of dust.



Once you are hooked on illusions, you are not capable of being in reality and seeing the truth. It's not necessary to see the truth. Nobody cares! Just keep feeding everyone’s illusions. Money was not a problem because I used to earn good money dancing. There was no need to face reality.



But facing our truth and being in reality is the greatest gift we can give ourselves as human beings, to be honest with ourselves, to tune into our feelings and truly look at reality. When the dancing business kept slowing down, and the money stopped coming in like it used to, I was forced to face the illusions – and slowly start to face and feel my painful truth. I stopped enabling his illusions and I kept focus on myself. I started to search for a new career to carry me financially. We kept seeing each other, even though he was not facing his illusions, until he met a new girl. Eckhart Tolle in his book The Power of Now says, “If you become a conscious person, your partner cannot stay with you and remain unconscious.” So he went out and found another unconscious girl to be with. If I hadn't been dumped off, would I have been able to face my reality? Instead I was forced to come back to earth, to stop hoping that this person was going to start facing his illusions, and slowly start to face and feel his painful truth.



As quickly as it all came, it was all over. I was no longer in this person's life, and I no longer had the money. The dancing career was over, and suddenly this person no longer wanted me in his life. This event caused me to regress to the state of child. Of course, being in a child state, I was not able to properly take care of myself financially or any other way. I was powerless. This was the lowest point of my life since I started this process. He wanted a younger looking girl that fit his image better. I felt ostracized, hurt, and shut out, just like I use to feel in my family of origin - disappointed that I believed I had been working toward a “real” relationship. I had not understood that image was the most important thing for him, his friends and family. I had been so naive, and like a child, I got confused and took it personally.

http://www.sylvieshene.com/about-after_the_breakup.htm